What If Everything Works Out?
At 51, I’m still figuring it out. But lately, I’ve been whispering, “What if everything works out?” — and somehow, that question keeps me going. This post is for anyone still trying, still building, still believing… even when it’s hard.
Lately, every time doubt sneaks in, when I open the fridge and realize I forgot to eat again, or when I open the 48th browser tab and forget what I was even doing, I say it out loud:
“What if everything works out?”
I’ve been saying it in the shower, while clicking “save” for the eighth time, while trying to remember what I meant to Google before the cat walked across the keyboard. I say it when I get a weird comment or when something doesn't upload, or when I wake up in the middle of the night thinking, Why am I doing all of this?
But really…
What if, at the ripe old age of 51, everything actually does work out?
What if it’s been working out all along?
Not in some perfectly plotted, everything is easy kind of way, but in the mess, in the chaos, in the slow unfurling of all these quiet things I didn’t even know I was building. What if every heartbreak, every weird job, every dead-end moment and strange turn led me right here, to this glow?
Because here I am. Launching a website. Publishing children’s books. Telling stories that were tucked in my bones for decades. And people are actually reading them. Visiting the site. Leaving reviews. Showing up.
Maybe not in droves, maybe not in viral waves, but they’re coming, one firefly at a time.
And yes, it’s exhausting. I’ve lost 7 pounds this week because apparently anxiety burns calories, and also I forget to eat when I’m building empires. My desk is a sea of sticky notes and half-finished ideas. My brain is one long run-on sentence. But my heart? She’s still glowing.
What if this is the part where it all clicks? Not because I forced it, but because I finally stopped waiting for permission.
What if everything works out because I decided it would?
Even when my lifelong fear of jinxing it creeps in, even when I feel like just writing these thoughts down might unravel them, I still repeat it.
Naaahhhhhh... WHAT IF EVERYTHING WORKS OUT.
And maybe, just maybe, that's the kind of hope that keeps us going. Not all at once, but in tiny sparks. A good sentence. A kind comment. A moment that reminds you to keep showing up.
So if you're reading this, and you’re starting to second-guess your path, try whispering it, just once:
What if everything works out?
Say it again if you need to. And then go do the next right thing. One small, stubborn, beautiful step at a time.
I’d love to know what this stirred up in you… thoughts, memories, tears, a little hope? Leave a comment below. I read them all, even if I’m wearing fuzzy socks and crying into my matcha.